This time of year

I’ve struggled this week not to make assumptions and judgments about people I’ve been dealing with. I’ve jumped to conclusions about levels of competence more times than I should admit. Been frustrated with how someone is or isn’t communicating with me about important things. I’ve lost my cool a few times. I’m not proud of this, and I had to remind myself that I need to give people more grace, not less, right now.

Because it’s a really hard time of year. On everyone.

We never really know what’s going on in someone else’s life, no matter the time of year. But, it’s even more so this time of year.

People are grieving.

People are anxious.

People are depressed.

We each have our own struggles, and I think this time of year often makes it worse.

It’s also the time of year when we are bombarded with shit like this:

I mean, what kind of expectations are we really trying to convince ourselves of this time of year?

Most of us are stretched so thin that messages like this often make us feel worse about our current state, not better.

And, we haven’t even hit the “new year, new goals” bullshit of January.

It’s so hard to just be present.

My friend and I were talking about this time of year the other day. I was sharing with her a bit about my thoughts on seasons, which I want to write about but haven’t been able to nail down fully yet. Explaining my thinking on how we all have seasons of productivity and then seasons of fallowness, and that those seasons don’t align with the crushing weight of capitalism.

For example, right now in Montana (and the northern hemisphere in general), the days are very short, without a lot of sunlight. It’s not an energizing or energetic time of year for many of us. But, we have lots of holiday events with friends and family and the pressure of the end of the year and so we push forward. We do all the things. And a lot of it is really wonderful. And, it can also be very draining without a lot of rest.

Then January hits and we’re supposed to go full force at work and at life with new exercise routines and mindsets and goals and diets and all the things we didn’t do this year because, well, we had a lot going on, but now, this year, it’s going to be different because it’s a different year and it’s time to “get after it.”

It’s exhausting.

No wonder I’ve struggled to be gracious to people in my orbit this week. And why some have struggled to be gracious with me.

So, I’m reminding myself to be kind to the people around me. To remind myself that it’s a difficult time of year for many people. That we are all doing the best we can.

But, I’m human and I will forget again. I have to remember to be kind and gentle with myself too.

Which, perhaps, is the most important thing to remember every time of year.

So, no matter the time of year, but especially this time of year, I just want to remind you as well:

You are doing great. ❤️

P.S.

My friend, after our conversation about seasons, shared this Instagram post with me. It clearly influenced my writing this week.